19/01/2016

Be your own boss

No, this is not a new crazy business idea of mine, but a result of one of many talks with a good friend. You see, I wrote about New Year's Resolutions, and we ended up discussing what it really means to be responsible? What does it take? Can it be hard? Do you maybe have to make some tough choices?

The answer is YES. You will need to be brave. It will take some courage. You might have to move out of your comfort zone. But if you do not take control over your own life, you can be pretty sure that someone else will try to. So the best way of making your life yours (again) is to be your own boss. How to do it? No miracles, no magic, just a bit of new thinking and some action.

So: take responsibility for your life, for your own choices. Accept that you can not control what other people say about you, plan or what they do. But you can choose if you will allow it to affect you.

To make it a little easier for yourself you can:
- Remove toxic people from your life. Yes. You are the boss of your life so you are free to let go of the ones who do not belong there anymore. It can be hard, especially if you are a people-pleaser or an empathic person, but it can be necessary.

Some times, in extreme cases (like if you have a narcissist/psychopath in your life) you need to completely remove them in order to save yourself. That means: No contact. Including blocking them on emails, social media, phones. If you have lived with a person like that close to you, you need to break the trauma/dependent bond, and start to heal and to find yourself again. No contact is the only way, as the other person will just interpret what you say into fitting his/hers false fantasy world anyway. When they can not control you any more, be prepared that they might try to stalk you or try to control how other people look at you. Let it be. Focus on your life and your healing. You can read more about why it's important to stay no contact and how to break free here.

As for the less extreme cases, try to surround yourself with "your people", the ones you feel good being with, the ones you feel yourself with, the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones you laugh, cry, talk and do stuff with. The ones you want to see again. And again and again. You know who they are.

I know it isn't easy. I know that sometimes you have to relate to toxic people whether you like it or not. But then remember: you can choose if you will allow them to irritate you, get to you, ruin your mood. You got this. You can control your mind. It is your choice, your responsibility.

Make room in your life for the people you enjoy spending time with. And try to spend your time on what you would like to spend your time on. Yes. That simple. Be in charge. Be your own boss.  

For life is here and now. This is what we have. This is what we know. By taking responsibility, you have the power over your life in your hands. Do not give it away, to anyone. You are strong. Now dare to be brave: follow your dreams and your intuitions. Live your life. If something feels right, go for it. Do it. Life is too short for regrets.






18 comments:

  1. Great post! Let us get rid of negative thoughts in the year 2016.

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  2. Very inspiring post and a great message. It is never a bad time to remove negativity from your life.

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  3. A post that is filled with positivity. Great pointers there.

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  4. Dearest Eli,
    Absolutely great subject and yes, it is important to get rid of those toxic ones. And we should not get fooled too often by thinking they have changed... for the better. As that is a very slim chance.
    Just lived through that with some family members, thinking that they had changed for the better. Till my baby-sis had her birthday on Monday and two of them did not even muster the decency for calling, or texting or sending an email. ZERO. So painfully you're reminded on the fact that NO, they don't change; period.
    I feel the best and happiest when I let go and introduce other pleasures into my life like a dinner with friends or a little outing and doing things I love doing.
    We must go that road otherwise we age fast; too fast!
    Sending you hugs,
    Mariette

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    1. Dear Mariette. Thanks for sharing. So true, some people does not change, ever. I so agree, the best is to let go, and focus on the positive things in my life, like you. Wish you all the best sweet friend:-) Sending hugs back

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  5. I feel that's one of the important steps to lead a stress free life too. :) Great thoughts.

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    1. True, thanks a lot Rajlakshmi:-)

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  6. Loads of positivity in your post. I love it when you're all upbeat and full of enthusiasm for new things. There's such freedom in being your own boss, making your own mistakes and living with them without complaining.

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    1. So true my friend:-) Thanks for your kind words. Big hugs

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  7. Love yourself. Be yourself. Own yourself. That's my mantra :)

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    1. Awesome mantra, dear Soumya:-) Thanks for sharing

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  8. Be your own boss - That is a line am learning has many meanings to it! Its my life and I better be the boss of it rt.....

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