A to Z 2015 - my reflections

What was I thinking? Had I gone mad? Really, Eli, another AtoZ? Had I forgotten the long nights, early mornings, the heat and craziness of last year's AtoZ? When I was traveling around the world: 26 Dream Destinations in 26 days. Puh! And now I didn't even have a blog?!

But I had to do it. I just knew that. I wanted to do it. So badly. I felt a smile spreading as I was thinking of April last year. Above all, I had loved taking part in the challenge. And after many months with no inspiration whatsoever, I now felt an overwhelming urge to write. After a tough time personally, some month in a bubble of fear, sadness and anger, I was ready. So ready. And my theme appeared before me more brighter than the Christmas star: happiness. It had to be happiness.

I created my new space, my new blog, and kicked it off with jumping on that AtoZ train once again. Personal therapy through writing, reconnecting with old blogger friends, finding new ones, discovering new wonderful blogs and writers. Oh Yeah! Oh Happiness!

The 5 most popular posts of my theme were:

I for Idlis

P for People

D for Dancing

K for Karma

Q for Quotes

I managed to write a bit in advance, but most was written on the go. Combined with some hectic work-travels, work and private life issues, I definitely felt the heat also this year. And I do still have some catching up to do. But fun, oh how fun! And I have the same "empty" feeling now when it is all over, that I had last year. Mixed emotions for sure, but all in all: great fun, positive vibes - it simply makes me happy to think about. Happy I did it! Happy:-)

Well done all my fellow contestants, my wonderful blogger friends. Yay! We did it!

A BIG THANK YOU -
- to all who have followed my AtoZ journey this year. Your kind and encouraging words has meant more to me than you will ever know.  

1-30 April 2015 I participated in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is a reflection post - of that challenge. My theme for the challenge was Happiness.  

Z for Zum up

So here we are, at the end of the A to Z journey 2015. One month of happiness is over, or maybe just begun?

Anchor, bird, childhood, dancing, explore, flower, grateful, help, idlis, jumpsuit, karma, laughter, moments, no, ordinary, people, quotes, run, smile, today, unbroken, valuable, writing, xbox and yes! 

Puh! And all that - is just a part of being happy. A tiny part.

For me the most important thing is that happiness comes from within. It does not depend on external things or other people. Always keep the power of your happiness with yourself. Never give it to someone else. Never let anyone take it from you. Guard it. Nurture it. Be in charge.

Celebrate this wonderful journey that life is. Be in the present. Be in the moment. Be here and now. Celebrate, dear friend. Celebrate!

I hope you have enjoyed my humble tribute to happiness A to Z. And in this zum-ming up: what makes you happy? Right now?  

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you have enjoyed coming along. 

Y for Yes

She wasn't sure. Could she do it? She was flattered. It was a great opportunity. Maybe too great? Maybe to big? She was biting her nails. But so amazing though. And they had asked her. Why her? Did they really think she could do it? Why? What was so special about her? There were so many other amazing candidates. More amazing than her. She was sure of it. And if she said yes to this, then what if she failed? What if she let them down? But then she might never have a chance like this again. And she wanted to say yes. But what if...? The more she thought of it, the more sure she got. 

She picked up the phone to call them to give her answer. 

Please. Say YES to the things you want to say YES to. Go for it!

Make sure that you say yes to the right things and for the right reasons. Do not fear saying yes to something you really want to do. But make sure you do not say yes to things you really do not want to say yes to. And very important: when you say yes to others, make sure you don not say no to yourself.

Ask yourself: Do I say yes for the right reasons? Say yes if you want to, but no if you don't. The right use of those two tiny words - might make you happy.

Do you dare to say yes to the things you really want to do? 

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along. 

X for Xbox

She walked in to the bedroom. He was already asleep. She kissed his forehead anyway like she always did. She smiled when she saw the list. He still wrote to Santa, at the age of 14. She sighed as she saw the first letters. X box. Like for his birthday, like for last Christmas. She would never find the money to buy that for him. She could never afford it. She stroke him gently over the brown locks of hair and went silently out of the room.

Christmas came. They had been to church. He held her hand tightly on the way home. The roads were icy, and there were some snow in the air. Light snow landed on their heads and shoulders. - Look, he said and pointed up. They looked up together and with snow in their eyes they saw. - The Christmas star. Shining so bright. - Make a wish, she whispered. They smiled at each other.

After Christmas dinner, he was sitting quietly reading. She could tell he was happy, yet a bit disappointed. For so many years he had wanted this one thing. She went to get their Christmas dessert from the kitchen, and was suddenly aware of the shadow outside the window. She went over and looked outside. No one. Just a box. On their stairway. Strange. - What it is mum? He stood behind her, trying to peep outside. She showed him the box. Was it? It was. An Xbox. An old one. A used one. With some games. She saw the big smile spreading on the face of her son.

Where it came from? They will never know.

We own our own happiness. But still when it comes to people we love unconditionally, seeing them happy also makes us happy. Isn't that so?

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along. 

W for Writing

- If you are a writer you should write, she says. I shut my eyes and ears and pretend not to hear her. - You are suppose to be a writer, so why are you still sitting out here. You have been sitting here on the balcony all afternoon, looking at nothing. You should be at your computer, writing, writing, writing! Haven't you heard that writing generates writing? So the more you write, the more you want to write also! 

- I am thinking, I say, - and by the way, I have a writer's block right now. She has never heard of a stupider thing. - Writers block, how can you have a writers block, when you are not writing?! You just just get in there, girl, get going! Start something. Write something. And then the rest will come. 

- I am thinking, I say. - Thinking, thinking. She mocks me now. - If you think of something out here now, it is so far to your computer, that you will forget it by the time you get there. Now, move, move. Go and write. Something.

I sigh. She will not leave me alone. And she is right. She knows me so well.

I get up from the chair, and give her a gentle push off my shoulder, my Little Miss Persistent Me - sitting there, suddenly in a delightful mood: - Hey, she smiles, - you going to write? Finally. That's great. Thumbs up.  

I head for my computer. - Hey, she yells behind me back, - where are you going. Wait up. Take me with you. But that's ok. There is a wright time for everything:-) 

What place does writing have in your life? Please share. 

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along. 

V for Valuable

Imagine
a wonderful morning on a warm summer day
grass is greener than ever, flowers blooming away

still the air is from north and can chill you a bit
and the sky clear and blue, just above where you sit-

- on a bench in the garden with an unopened book
which shouts to you: " Hey lady, open me, have a look!"

but your vision is elsewhere, it is down by the trees
where the kids run and play just like wild summer bees

and you smile as you hear them, 'cause their laughs spread so wide
and you feel warm and blessed, watching them from the side

this is life, you keep thinking, just as good as it gets
and the valuables in it, they are amazing, so let's-

- close our eyes for a moment, and just feel where we are
count our blessings, but still always aim for the star (s)

• The most valuable gift you can give is your time. 
• The most valuable places to be are in someones mind and in their prayers.
• The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake, so you can learn from it.
• The most valuable possession you can have is an open hearth.
• Some of the most treasured valuables are: A hearth full of love. A head full of wisdom. Family. Friends. Time. Kindness. Self value.   

What are your most treasured valuables? Please share. 

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along. 

U for Unbroken

She left that night. And no one had thought she had it in her.

Days after days, years after years with lies, threats and fear. They didn't know, they said. That it was so bad. They thought she handled it, they said. His strange way of being. Because they had seen a bit. But done nothing.

She had beat the fear. I had to happen. To save herself.

Like a bird with broken wings she had crawled out the door. With nothing. Nothing but a tiny feeling of self value. Because she was not completely broken. She still had a tiny belief in herself. That she was worth something better. That she was worth not being stepped on. She clinched to that feeling of never giving up, of not to break. And finally she dared to say yes to herself.

She took the chance of failing and thought at least it could not get worse than what she had been through. She decided that she would not break even when she felt entirely and completely broken.

She could heal. She could smile. She decided, yes, she was unbroken. She could feel happy again.

What comes to your mind, reading this? Please share. 

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along. 

T for Today

Yesterday is history, tomorrow's still a mystery. Live today.

Live every day till the fullest. Count your blessings. Be grateful for what you have.

You may dream about tomorrow, but tomorrow may not come, so don't live for tomorrow.

You may linger with the memories of yesterday, be mad with the bad ones, and get stuck with the good ones. But they are gone. You can not change them. Let them go. Forgive, but do not forget.
Cherish the memories, learn from yesterday, but move on. Move on. Move on.

Live for today. For this moment. Right here, right now. Chase your passions, follow your dreams, wherever they lead you. Do what makes you happy. Dare to say yes if you want to say yes. Find the strength to say no, if that is what you must. You alone are in charge of your happiness.

Grab the moment. Embrace the present. Be happy in the moment. Be happy today.

What have you done today? Please share. 

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along. 

S for Smile

Not a word in the world can beat it. Not a word in the world is powerful enough to concur it. Not a word in the world has that instant effect on a fellow human being, in such a short amount of time.

And what a lovely thing. It doesn't matter what language you speak. It doesn't matter where you are from, what you wear or how much money you have in your pocket. Your gender, age, country, culture and religion becomes irrelevant. When you give it, and when you receive it.

It is the shortest way between you and a new friend, someone who needs encouragement, support or a sign of kindness. It is a way to cut the crap, to ease tension and just to let it go....

It should not be seen as a sign of weakness, stupidity or a bad intention. It should not be delivered with a hidden agenda, be misinterpreted and it should never ever be judged.

It should be given if you mean it from the bottom of you hearth, intentionally or unintentionally. It should pop up by the sight of a human, a thing, a happy thought or a random memory.

You should not listen to anyone trying to tell you how, when, where and to whom you should give it- (and that includes bla-bla bloggers with funny names:-) Give it whenever you want to whoever you want.

And in the end, what do I know?

All I know is, that if I get one, it makes me happy, and if I give one, it makes me happy.

In other words: a win win.

A smile

What makes you smile? Please share. 

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along. 

R for Run

Run run run away, run if you can't stay
run till every fiber begs for mercy

run run run like mad
run till you kick the bad -

- far away where it belongs
not with you

let your legs go wild, jump high like a child
feel the power coming - oh you're alive

run run run so far, run till you see the star
just there above your head, it shines so brightly

run up the hill so steep, run down the valley deep
run till your breath goes mad and you don't feel sad

run like a horse so free, run like a summer bee
run like a bird on wings who fly off up there

Run run run my friend, don't stop till the end........

- then lay down on the green grass, feel the Rain on your face, Relax. Feel happy and Rich

Life is good.

Does running make you happy too? Please share. 

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along. 

Q for Quotes

Sometimes the night is darker than usual and the morning seems gloomy and grey
The sun doesn't shine as bright as it can and you feel you have nothing to say

The flowers look pale and the birds have no song and the trees have their winter cape on
You sit there and wonder where am I today and it looks like your words are all gone

You stare out at nothing, your mind is just blank, the magic is too far away
then what else to do then to read some wise words that can give you the strength to stay

To stay there to write which you love more than life, and to kick all that darkness away
an uplifting quote when you need it the most - and oh joy - it might save your day:-)

Some quotes that makes me inspired and happy:

Do you have a favorite quote? Please share.

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along. 

P for People

It was crowded in the neighborhood by the edge of the sea. The kids were running around playing, shouting and screaming. She was just sitting there. Quiet by herself. With a shy little smile she was looking at us and then looking down at the wooden stick she held in her hands. A little person I find it hard to forget. I don't know why. It is just so.

I have lived in different countries and different places. I adjust easily, but my big advantage and disadvantage is that I fall in love easily. I fall in love with people. Meaning, I get fascinated by people I meet. Curious, interested. I love hearing stories from people, to learn about their life, customs, culture.

So many people come into our lives. Some to stay forever, some for a little while and some just for a moment, like that little girl by the edge of the sea. The hard thing about falling in love with people is that it is very hard to say goodbye. Almost unbearable.

But it is worth it. So worth it. Because wherever you go, they are there- with you. People that makes you happy whether you are with them in real life or just in your mind and in your hearth.

So, do you get fascinated by people? 

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along. 

O for Ordinary

She admires herself in the mirror. I am special, she says. Her hair extensions are long, her fake eye lashes black and wavy. Her boobs and lips are swollen with fat taken from her ass. I am so hot, she says and kisses the mirror. She puts on her new designer dress and adds a bit more lipstick. I am so sexy, she smiles. She takes up her iphone to put in her designer bag, and decides to check her Facebook. What? Only 17 Likes on my last selfie? Why? I look so good on that? She sinks down on the edge of the bed with a dropping feeling inside. She feels like crying. Maybe another picture in the other yellow dress will rise more Likes? Because I am so hot. I will be discovered. I shall be seen. I am extraordinary. Give me Likes. See me. Make me famous. She sighs. She feels so unhappy.

The hunger for extraordinary.

Each and every one of us are extraordinary and that makes us ordinary.

Do not let anyone else or external factors define you and your happiness. Find your own way to joy through feelings, not through material things. They can never bring you happiness. Be grateful for what you have and do not focus on what you do not have. If you focus on what you don't have, you will never be happy with what you do have. Dare to be ordinary in your extraordinarity - and enjoy every moment of it.

Make the ordinary come alive. Get to know yourself. Be happy with who you are. Here and now.

Quote by William Martin. 

Ordinary or extraordinary, what makes you happy? 

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along. 

N for No

No.

Enough is enough, she thought. No more lies or fake stories. No more jealousy and control. No more apologies. Enough pain and sadness. Enough tears. Enough sleepless nights, worrying about what would happen if she did what she deep inside knew that she had to do.

Because it scared her. If she left, what would she do? Where would she go? Her life would be changed forever, and she did not know to what. She would leave something known and head off to an insecure future. But there was no alternative. She knew that now.

He begged her to stay. He promised he would change. Again. No, she said. He became angry. He yelled. He threatened. Crazy desperate scary talks. Violence. She shivered with fear.

No, she said.

And she left that night. Closing the door behind her for the last time, she felt a smile spreading on her face, and she felt a bit sad, but more than anything free and happy.

Is it so? Do we sometimes need to say no, to be happy? 

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along. 

M for Moments

These small moments that came and left. How could I have known that they are life itself? 

Ah, those moments of life. Those memories. What a blessing they can be, she thought. Closing her eyes, traveling back, recapturing.. Not getting stuck back there, but just re-visiting for a little while, dwelling a bit. Those random memories that makes her smile. Gone now, but still there, like in a pleasant dream she can visit again and again if she wants to. And she does. Some more often than others.

...that moment with people she cares so much about:

...that late summer evening with her best friend:

... that stroll along the sea:

Moments with kids, moments with loved ones, a smile from a stranger, a funny comment, a nice meal, an emotional farewell, a funny trip, a happy reunion, a film, a talk, a hug, a decision. Let's celebrate those moments. They are life itself.

Ah, those moments. Whether you are on travels or at home - they are there. The bad ones too, but no need to linger with those. They are gone, and you probably have learned something from them. But keep the good ones with you, the ones that makes you smile. The ones that makes you happy.

And make new ones. Right now. Because that is life. That moment right now. Grab it. Make it yours.

Do you have some special happy moments? Please share. 

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along. 

L for Laughter

Ok. I know. I bet you saw this one coming. Laughter and being happy - quite connected, right? Usually yes, but maybe not entirely so, if you think of it.

You know, who came to my mind? The actor Robin Williams. He made me laugh so many times, and I could just picture him joking and laughing. And then the sadness overwhelmed me. Because laughter can be that: putting on a happy face. Making a facade. Laughing to cover it up. To pretend. To hide.

Usually laughter is a sign of happiness, to me. I laugh easily and I laugh a lot. Of a funny thought, or an amusing sight. Of other people's jokes or of my own jokes. When other people laugh, I start to laugh. With "my persons" we can start to laugh just by looking at the same thing - no words needed. Sometimes I can not stop laughing and sometimes I laugh when I should not.

A moment I still laugh thinking about, is this one:

An afternoon my two teenage kids and I had gone to the mall in Mumbai for shopping. It turned out that they were shooting a film in there on that day, and we were invited along with a large group to be supporting actors. We were supposed to play "scared mall customers" because there was a bomb and gunmen at the mall. So we lined up, and on signal we, the crowd, should run for our lives for the door. The signal came and we started running, looking the scariest we could. Suddenly I saw myself from a distance, running there in my high heels, with my handbag on my shoulder in the middle of the crowd. Next to me, ran a sikh with a bright red turban, and on the other side an elderly lady in sari. Oh I just couldn't help myself. This bubbling feeling just took over, and I ran laughing out loud. It was so funny. Fortunately the crowd was so big that they didn't notice that laughing foreigner in between all the "scared mall customers".

A "normal" afternoon at the mall turned into something completely different. Hahahah- amazing moment.

So, what makes you laugh? Please share. 

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along. 

K for Karma

What goes around comes around - or what? Do you believe that, that your actions have consequences? That you create your happiness and your misery? That one day you may be in the same circumstances that you put someone else in?

I think that whether you believe in karma or not, trying to live by the principles of karma is a good thing. At least it gives me a grounded feeling of peace and happiness.

Because I like it, and I try to live by that. To treat people with a nice attitude. To greet people with a smile and a kind word. To meet people like I myself want to be met.

And I like thinking that how people treat me is their karma but how I react to it is my karma. Because we can never control other people's actions. We can only control our own.

In the light of this, your world today is then a reflection of your past, and what you do today will mirror your future. It is you, and you alone, who are responsible for your actions. You are responsible for your own karma.

I like the feeling of self-power and letgo, letitbe, I get when I think of karma. To try to live by these principles, (even though some times it can be really challenging..) - makes me happy.

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along. 

J for Jumpsuit

What a day. Early at work. Sick colleagues, so she had to work extra. No time for lunch. Angry clients and a boss who yelled at her, for a mistake that someone else had done.

And rain. Rain. All day long.

She was all wet, inside out, and the key didn't fit in the keyhole today. Hungry, tired and still angry she pushed the front door. Kicked it with her soaking wet shoes. Home at last.

The house was quiet and dark. As usual. But today it felt like heaven. She stepped quickly out of her wet clothes, left them like that on the floor and took a warm shower. Feeling how the anger started to let go. Still with her wet hair she found her beloved jumpsuit, her symbol of me-time. She went to the kitchen, heated up some dinner from the day before and took it with her to the living room. She ate, curled up in the sofa. No TV, no music, no noise. Just her and her thoughts. She closed her eyes for a bit, breathing softly and just felt how the stress of the day was leaving her...

Let go, she thought. Let go of the things I can not control. Let go of the people I can not change. I am good. I am here and now. I am happy.

And then she got up, and went to her computer to start writing. Blogging to be precise.

What do you enjoy doing to letgo, to relax? - and do you dress in a special way? 


1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along. 

I for Idlis

You are what you eat! 
- heard that one before?

In case I am what I eat, I guess that makes me pretty much a global mess...

When it comes to food, I am easy. I like most things and I am happy to try new stuff. I enjoy exploring and experimenting both when eating out and when I cook in my own kitchen. A touch of cinnamon in here, some coriander in there and voila: the dish has a whole new flavor. Sometimes better, sometimes not and sometimes just .. different...

But what's with the idlis - you might think? Well, to me, idlis is a perfect example of my favorite kind of food, namely the social sharing kind of food. The kind you can sit and eat of for hours, a part of a social meal where the eating goes in between the talking and laughing.

Just the name idlis makes me smile, thinking of happy idli moments gathered with friends. The sharing kind, like tapas, meze, thali or idlis - like at the Idli House in Mumbai, where they serve mainly, well idlis:-) With all kinds of flavors, spices, chutneys. Sitting there tasting, dipping, talking... What happy moments:-)

And of course it is a big bonus that idlis are healthy food, made of dal/lenthils and rice.

Idlis at the Idli House. YUM:

What food makes you happy? Please share. 

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge. My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along. 

H for Helping

In my meditation group he was the only man. Patiently he used to sit there, quietly listening to 9 talkative ladies sharing endless stories about hopeless mum-in-laws and cluttered houses. He would smile a shy little smile and sometimes give a comforting comment. 

One day he shared his story. 

He had been a successful business manager. Married with 2 sons. One morning, many years earlier, he had woken up and he could not see. He was taken to the hospital and they found out he had a stroke. He never recovered on the one side of the body, but he was able to have some vision again on the one eye. His wife had left him and he had lost his job. 

- But I am happy, he told us in his calm quiet way. - I am happy I am alive. I see clearer than I have even seen, and I am happy that I have got this chance to do good, to help.  

He told us that the source of his happiness was helping others. - It can be just a little bit of help, he explained, - helping an old man to carry his bag, give out food to street children, hold a door open for someone. Small helping acts. Big helping acts. It doesn't matter to the one you help. Maybe that person has the worst day of his life. If you come there with a smile, with a kind act, with some help - it might mean the world to that person. On that day. In that moment. 

So true right? You never know what luggage persons around you carry. You might Make Their Day, just by offering a little bit of help or some kindness.

And the best part: you will feel so great also! Maybe even happy? The health benefits of helping others should not be underestimated. Have a look at this article if you want to see proofs:-)   

How do you help others? Please share.   

1-30 April 2015 I participate in the A to Z blogger challenge, and this post is written as a part of that challenge.My theme for the challenge is Happiness. I hope you enjoy coming along.